Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
