I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
