her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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