Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
