Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
