ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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