Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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