This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
