Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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