He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
