I'm going to jail i love you
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
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we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
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The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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