Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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