I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
