"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
