i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
