He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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