You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
