At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
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