I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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