Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
