Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
