May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
