Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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