are you wasted or are you getting laid?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.