Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other