no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.