I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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