I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
