Me. At least after what I've been through.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
