anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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