Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
