Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
