he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
