afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
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we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
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getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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