ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
