Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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