You're completely useless in the revolution.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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