Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
