I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
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drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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