it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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