That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
