dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
