She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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