I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
