Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
