i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
do herpes really smell.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
