How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
