Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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