Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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