Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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