it hurts more in the daytime
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
