You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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