Your face is a jimmy john
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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