i can't believe i had my finger in that
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
