I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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