Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
