so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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