i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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