I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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