After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
