Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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