and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
