we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
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May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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